Glad that’s over with

by Ed Makowski

My father was ill many years
I grew up
watching him that way and
Each time I shaved
I saw him in the reflection

but I didn’t so much see
him, as
I saw the twitching and drooling
spastic wailing tantrums
food coughed up and
general dementia
of the disease we
may have shared, Then I’d

spend weeks
avoiding the morning mirror
until a beard grew

Every few years shaving clean
out of curiosity, to the same
diverted eye result

The other night at a friend’s garage
between beer and brats
we pieced together his Ducati 450 single
and after hours fastening
gathered for a picture
around the running result

Standing around the finished product
his wife saying corny things with a camera
I felt my face shaped in the same
crooked grin I’ve seen in every
picture from my dad’s youth


The next day I woke up
and watched the mirror for awhile
then decided to shave,
taking a long time
and even a shower before
confronting it again


That was a week ago and I feel fine.

Nearly thirty years it took
to look at my own face