What a Man Needs

by James Babbs

he needs water
and food
and cases of beer
for the long nights
when he doesn’t have a woman
beer for those nights
when she’s around
but he doesn’t want to talk
he needs money
and moments of anger
he needs rooms
he can go to
and hide from the light
telephones
with caller ID
so he can choose
whether or not to answer
he needs dreams
dreams of beauty
and death
hung with darkness
something
that feels like love
but doesn’t have a name

Nine In the Morning

by James Babbs

empty Bud Light box
blowing across the fields
it’s nine in the morning and
I’m thinking about sex
I haven’t been with a woman
in a really long time and
it seems to be a lot windier
around here these days and
whenever I see a woman
I try to picture
what she looks like naked
imagining
how her body feels
rubbing against my own and
I think
that’s one of the reasons
why I’ve been drinking so much
mostly
cold bottles of beer
but sometimes red wine
or whiskey in my coffee
when it starts getting cold

Cruel Summer

by James Babbs

it was a cruel summer
if you don’t believe me
just go ask
the women from Bananarama
see what they’re doing now
maybe
if you ask them nicely
they’ll perform
their remake of Venus for you
I used to masturbate
while watching their videos
I think one of them
married Dave Stewart
from the band Eurythmics
I wonder if they’re still together
does anybody here know
whatever happened to Annie Lennox
she frightened me
the first time I saw her
in the video for Sweet Dreams
late-night Friday
on cable TV and
I never had any plans for the weekend
I usually just slept in late

When I’m Drunk I Think She’s Beautiful

by James Babbs

Connie’s behind the bar
tonight
where she’s been for the past
35 years or so
serving up drinks and
trying to keep everybody in line
I’m one of her regulars
so she comes over and
talks to me
whenever she gets the chance
sometimes
I flirt with her
making her laugh
she tells me
she’s old enough to be my mother
but when I’m drunk
I think she’s beautiful and
I tell her
I want to marry her
I tell her
I want to live with her
right here in the bar
she comes back with
I just want her
for all the free booze
but I tell her
my voice louder this time
no
it’s not true
I tell her
I love her and
every time I say it
she just laughs
on one of my better nights
when I end up leaving
with some other woman
turning back one last time
toward the bar
I don’t know
maybe
it’s just me
or the lighting
or something
but I swear
Connie always looks sad
when I tell her goodbye

I’ve Been In Love

by James Babbs

I’ve been in love with countless women
over the years
but none of them ever loved me
and how many unrequited loves
does one man need
before he seeks solace
from something else
like the warm touch of madness
or the bottle’s sweet pull
and the sky at night
littered with stars
tiny lights without meaning
pieces of broken glass
scattered beneath my feet
after I dropped the cup
spilling the last of the wine
red
looks almost like blood

Girl at the Gas Station

by James Babbs

i.
the girl at
the gas station
emerges from
the storeroom
fighting hiccups
and
she laughs
says
excuse me
and
I do
because she’s
beautiful

ii.
when the girl at
the gas station
laughs
it reminds me
of the chimes
hanging in
the tree
outside
my bedroom
window
I think
the people
next door
put them there

iii.
the girl at
the gas station
has several
piercings in
her ears
wears earrings
matching
the stud in
her nose and
when she
opens her mouth
I see
the metal in
her tongue
wondering
what else
she has pierced
but I’m
too afraid
to ask

iv.
the girl at
the gas station
says
good afternoon
at the same time
I say
how are you
so that
our voices
cancel
each other
out

v.
the girl at
the gas station
stocks cigarettes
from behind
the counter
her back to me
when I
come in

vi.
the girl at
the gas station
knows my name
because
I always
use my
credit card
and sign
the receipt but
don’t know hers
because
she never
wears her
name tag and
everyone
even
the old women
just call her
beautiful

vii.
the girl at
the gas station
argues with
somebody on
the phone as
I stand there
waiting and
she says
asshole
before slamming
down the phone
turning to me
all smiles

viii.
the girl at
the gas station
has never
been married
but
somebody told me
she has
a child
and if
that’s true
so what

ix.
the girl at
the gas station
isn’t
the same girl
from yesterday
but
she smiles
doesn’t seem to
mind being
someone else

Nothing Good Happens After Midnight

by James Babbs

I guess I must have passed out
because the next thing I knew
I was waking up to
somebody pounding on the front door
okay, okay, I said as
I watched a couple of empty bottles
fall to the floor when I
got up from the couch
whoever was out there
kept on pounding and I screamed,
alright, I heard you, already and
my head started to throb
when I, finally, opened the door
Candy came stumbling in
she was a cute brunette
I’d met a couple of months ago
down at the bar where I hung out
she was lonely so I bought her a few drinks
I thought you had a boyfriend, I said
Candy kicked some bottles out of the way
before she fell into the chair
I told him I had to visit a sick friend, she said
that’s more true than you realize, I said
I went back to the couch and sat down
started feeling around on the floor among all
the bottles and got one that wasn’t quite empty
here’s looking at you, I said
I drained it and tossed it across the room
so what’s up, I said
oh, I was just bored, she said
so I thought I’d come over and give you a thrill
on any other night, I said
that would be great
I thought you liked me, she said
I do, baby, but I’m sick, remember
she didn’t get the joke
Candy got up and went into the kitchen
I heard her rummaging around in the fridge
ain’t you got any food around here
I heard her say
no baby, I said, we can live on love
I heard a car pull up outside
somebody got out and started screaming
the voice came closer and closer to the house
Candy, you bitch, get out here
I had three guesses who it was and
the first two didn’t count
he started pounding on the door
I groaned and rubbed my forehead
oh god, Candy said as she came out of the kitchen
she went to the door and opened it
what the hell, Ray? she said
whaddya do, follow me?
you bet your ass I did, Ray said
he was as big as his voice
he thrust a finger toward me
it’s a good thing I did, Ray said
what’s that suppose to mean, Candy said
she got right up in Ray’s face
she started shoving him
whaddya gonna do? she said
be a big man and beat him up?
I tried to squeeze myself into the corner
trying to make myself disappear
Ray walked right over to me
you been fucking my girl? he asked
jabbing his big finger into the middle of my chest
I felt like I was going to vomit
Candy grabbed Ray’s arm
nobody’s fucking anybody, she said
leave him alone, Ray
this your sick friend? Ray asked
yeah, Candy said, can’t you see he don’t look so good
suddenly, on top of everything else
I had to take a terrible piss but
was afraid to go to the bathroom
I crossed my legs and bit my lower lip
c’mon, honey, Candy said
she started rubbing Ray’s shoulders
c’mon baby
she kissed him and
they turned toward the door
as soon as they did I headed for the bathroom
but Ray spun around and screamed, hey
and I felt the piss warm and wet on my legs
you better leave my woman alone, Ray laughed
goodbye friend, said Candy and
they disappeared out the door
I heard Candy giggling in the dark
heard the car roaring to life and
I stood there shivering from the cold

Good View

by James Babbs

she's wearing a Misfits t-shirt
chain-smoking unfiltered cigarettes
her tits keep trying to
push their way through
the thin fabric
when she catches me staring
she laughs and lifts her shirt
giving me a good view
and then some guy in a red car
stops and picks her up

Forever

by James Babbs

we walked
to the pool
on hot days
swam or
sat on
the deck
watching
the girls
we never
thought about
the future
we thought
summer would
last forever

The Neighbor’s Daughter

by James Babbs

a couple of months ago
she started coming home
on the weekends
I think she goes to college
some school far away from here
maybe
in another state
I’m not sure

I don’t know what she’s studying
I never really talked to her
we’ve only exchanged occasional greetings
when both of us happened to be
outside at the same time and
she always flashes me
with this beautiful smile

sometimes I see her
just coming and going
watching her through
my living room window
traipsing across the yard
her thick red hair
sweeping past her shoulders and
cascading softly down her back

not too long ago I saw her
out there in the driveway
washing her car in
the afternoon sun
she was wearing this pair of
little short shorts and
when she bent over
her shirt kept riding up
revealing part of her lower back and
what looked to me
like a butterfly tattoo
just this small area of flesh
less than what you’d see
if she had been at the beach
but for some reason
I thought it was wonderful

It’s a Good Night for Drinking

by James Babbs

it’s a good night for drinking
a good night for getting drunk again
with the rain coming down and
the wind blowing against the windows
later on
it’s supposed to change over to snow and
I want to hear the music playing
songs I know all the words to
and I want this room
surrounding me to stop spinning
I want to breathe again
like it was only yesterday
and I want to fall in love
but you’re not here tonight
you told me you couldn’t make it and
you said you were sorry
but you had some other things
you needed to get done

I Should Know By Now

by James Babbs

the other day
I was walking around the mall
something
I don’t do very often
but I was trying to kill some time
and when I walked past Macy’s
I started thinking about her again
because
that was one of the stores
I remember
she liked to shop at and
why the hell do I
keep feeling this way
I should know by now
she’s not coming back and
why can’t I just get over it
maybe
I should stop
the next woman I see
and ask her
if she could please tell me
what the hell it is women want
and
I could scream it
really loud
maybe
grab her and shake her
so she’d understand
exactly what I mean

Looking For Answers

by James Babbs

the wind outside blowing and
it's been blowing all day long and
now
it’s night time again and
I’m trying to write something
sitting in this same room
trying to find
some jazz on the radio
drinking my first of many beers
the start of
another long evening and
I’m going to be here for awhile
looking for answers
all of these questions
that keep rising up
but ones I know
I never meant to ask

It’s Valentine’s Day

by James Babbs

it’s valentine’s day and
I'm getting drunk again
sitting near the window
watching cars driving past and
they’re probably carrying
happy couples full of love
to all the happy places
where happy couples go
while I’m pouring
more whiskey in my coffee
because
I like how it burns
every time I take a drink and
it’s not, quite, dark yet
no
when I look through the window
I can, still, see
traces of light in the sky and
I know something about loneliness
just ask me about it
the next time you see me and
maybe
I’ll tell you what it is