Bringin' Home the Bacon

by Daniel S. Irwin

"Oh Lord, help me!"
Cried Big Jim.
"I think there's a pig
Up my ass!"
Well, no, not really.
It was just a dream.
Where the Hell
It came from
Jim got no idea.
But there he was,
Eyes poppin' open
In the dead of night
Callin' for relief from
His cell at the
'Country club' prison.
"Help me Jeez-zas!
Help me Jeez-zas!"
Yup, talkin' whole hog.
Oink, oink, mo'fucka.
Could it be Jim's slipped
Beyond insane into crazy?
Could it be he should
Cut back on the bacon?
Could he be tormented by
White collar crime and
The unexpected loss of his
CEO golden parachute?
Or was he just fortunate
That there were no
Elephants in his dream?